My plans to tour with MAME...foiled

Well, my first audition was a bust, but there is a silver lining to this dark storm cloud.

I arrived at the audition with high hopes, the list wasn't very long and I saw many young people. All the female roles in the show call for mature adults and since I'm nearing 30, well, that's me. I really had to laugh at all of them, primping with curling irons, applying lipstick and caking on the make-up. Do they even know what they are auditioning for. The only possible role in the show that any of them could play is Agnus Gooch, a dowdy secretary type.

I practiced and prepared last night, found the perfect song and that was all the preparation necessary. Did I dress up? Absolutely not. Did I wear a skirt or dress? Nope. Was I still too stylish? Well, when am I ever not stylish. Honestly though, I wore pants, a sweater and my new little BC canvas flats. I wore very little make-up, just mascara and lip gloss. I was just plain jane...just me, no effort.

I didn't even get to sing for the casting director. He knew exactly what he wanted as far as a look and so the type casting began. We all filed into the room, ten at a time, and let him oogle us up and down (this is the part where I feel like a piece of meat). He gave me a wry smile and then chose a girl further down the line. Her hair was disheveled and the unkempt outfit she was donning was truly dreadful. But that's what they wanted to see, FRUMPY, FRUMPY, FRUMPY. All the pretty girls, not the one's trying too hard, but the natural beauties, were sent out of the room. It was a little boost to the morale when I realized I was joining them.

Although I wasn't even able to audition, I feel kind of nice knowing that I just can't be considered frumpy.

Next audition is on Sunday.

Nothing but savages in this town

Someone at work stole my flair. Don't laugh. We have to wear these pins on our uniform, some of them gifts, some of them purchased and some of them earned. Well, I had all the flair out for the holidays (aides in the tipping department) and was going through the routine of changing in the locker area when some ballsy bastard stole my uniform. In a matter of seconds it was gone. I placed it over the door to my locker, bent down to tie my shoes, turned around and it was gone. How ridiculous. Around 20 pins that I would definitely recognize if I saw and they really won't bring in that much on eBay. I'm kind of disgusted with humans in general today.



I have my first audition of the year this Friday...(in a whisper)...tell me I'm gonna kick some ass.

Resolutions , My Ass

I think this could possibly be the laziest day worldwide. I must include myself in this broad statement. I didn't get out of bed until 2:00pm and I stayed in my cozy p.j.'s until almost 5:00pm. Then it was a long fairy dust bath while listening to my iPod and slowly watching all the bubbles in my bath disappear.



I will make no resolutions this year because I have no idea what life holds for me. I want no expectations and less pressure in my life. This doesn't mean I don't still have goals. I will always be striving to reach my goals and fulfill my dreams. That doesn't change, but I don't want a timeline. I'm still young and have plenty of years left.



How quickly this year slipped through my fingers. Was I having fun? That's what they say happens to time when it moves too fast. Honestly from April until the end of the year is a complete blur. I don't really know what I did, if I accomplished anything or did one thing of significant value. I have to say from April on was Tyler's year. It was his time to shine. He found a dream job in sports and now his reason for living in New York is much more justified than mine. What a change for him though. His entire countenance has changed. He is happy for the first time since we've moved and maybe long before that. He has a potential career and it's something he looks forward to doing. I had a little taste of that for a while and I can't think of anything worse than having it, then having it taken away from you and not being able to get it back. But that's my career choice and I have a lifetime of that to look forward to. It's not that I'm masochistic, but I kind of like that life. Not really knowing what's next, putting myself out there to be disparaged or extolled. Maybe I’m able to do this because I’m more aware now about what defines my success. I have a better understanding of what’s important in life. Does this come from age and experience? I don’t know. What I do know is that I appreciate all of the examples in my life that have taught me how to recognize and sort my priorities.



Happy New Year, I'm sure it will be if that's what I choose to make of it.

Tropopause: the great belt of calm air

After a break from everything, I'm back to report.

Despite the transit strike, I was able to make it to the Newark airport and was with my family by noon. The entire trip ended up being a recuperation vacation. I was quite ill for a majority of the time including Christmas Eve and Christmas. I was trying not to be a bummer or ruin anyone's Christmas, but I had no energy and wasn't my normal chipper self. It was an amazing Christmas though. My parent's spoiled all of us as usual and although my enthusiasm was subdued, I appreciate everything they gave me. My mom was especially sweet when she gave me her gift. She had taken all the diamonds from my Grandma's wedding ring and had necklaces made for me, my sister and herself. We all got a little teary-eyed and wished Grandma could have been there with us.

Tyler surprised me with a Christmas miracle...a new iPod to replace the stolen one. It is absolutely glorious, 30GB, video, color. It's a beautiful thing.

I don't have too much more to say about the vacation. I was a terrible, terrible friend and didn't feel well enough to call very many people. That's something I'll be doing in the next couple of days. For all my Jewish friends, I still have a couple of days to make it before the holiday is over.

Today was an adventure in the travel diary. We left Salt Lake at 11:45 pm and flew to Atlanta...2 hour layover...flew to Newark...2 hours of train rides home and walked in the door at 11:00 am. Not the most ideal but I was so happy to be home I didn't really care how long it took me to get there.

After chasing the moon across America several times over in the past two months I am ready to stay in one place for a while. I'm looking forward to a bit of routine and a normal schedule. I know I'll be cursing the fact that I just said that in about a week, but I can't very well get another acting job if I'm not even here to audition.

And that's the next chapter.

Carpool? Anyone? Hello?

Yep, it's true. I'm one of those poor fools who live in the city that thinks it's indestructible. Yet, when the subway lines are no longer available, all hell breaks loose, chaos ensues and millions of dollars (a sum I may never be familiar with) are lost. Not so much the 'greatest city in the world' or 'center of the universe' anymore. Hmmm.



The first day of the strike I was sick, hacking up a lung and such, and any attempt to get into the city was completely futile. With the contingency plan in place today I thought I'd brave it. I have to say I've never seen anything like it before, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Only about a two and a half hour commute into the city with all the waiting in lines for LIRR tickets and then a shuttle train that only comes every 20 minutes. I made some new friends and together we cursed all the illegitimate taxi services raking in the dough during the chaos (5 to a car, $20 a head and they make at least five trips in the morning commute).



I lucked out getting home because I left work early and just happened to catch a train that was leaving right away.



Now the trick will be getting to the Newark airport...from Queens...through Manhattan...to catch a plane at 7:00 am. Do you really think there are any car services available? Ha Ha Ha! That's funny.



I'm determined though! I will make it out of this city. I will catch my plane and I will be sipping my Dad's hot cocoa by noon, Salt Lake time.



To all my friends who are still having to deal with the mess here, my heart is with you. Stay warm and wear good walking shoes. I love you all and I'll see you before the New Year.

Topsy-turvy in a VapoRub Cloud

My body has finally forced me to slow down and take a day off. I'm sick at home and I can't even remember the last time I had a chance to sit and relax for a bit. I feel like I've been running ever since I got home from Mexico...actually, I've been running since October 1st.



Pause for sneeze...



So, to sum up the last few weeks all I've been doing is working and doing what ever I can to make extra money. Actually, my little alterations business is blowin' up. I started doing alterations and sewing projects for co-workers and now I find myself working on projects every week. Some days I make more sewing than I do schleping burgers.



Thanks to my amazing Dad and 100,000 of his frequent flyer miles Ty and I are spending Christmas together FAR FAR AWAY from New York. I cannot wait to get out of this city. I'm so tired of fighting just to make it through the day. I'm planning on writing a book...Encountering Assholes:101, A Practical Guide. It would include all my recent stories from a co-worker three times my size threatening me that "if I ever touch him again he will f*ing mess me up" to a 40 year old man practically pushing me to the ground and yelling at me to get a seat on the subway after I give my seat to a pregnant woman. Yep, I'm done fighting.



Two more days in Hell.



A little R&R is in sight. I'll come back healed by a cup of cocoa, a warm blankie, my family and everyone I love around me. That's what matters.

It's true...

I'm alive. And I just spent the last two hours writing about all my adventures only to lose the entire thing when I hit 'post'. That would happen the one time that I don't save my draft in Word.

I'm a little too upset to re-type everything right now and I may never have the energy again, but I'll try to include little snippets here and there.

I'm out.