Evocative

I didn't realize how much I used to write and blog until I spent some time online today. Everything I felt and everything I experienced was captured in daily journal entries and I'm embarrassed to say that I haven't been keeping up, especially when there have been so many experiences in my life worthy of rememberance. At least I have some valid excuses, like being a mom and working 50 hours a week (60 including travel time). It's no wonder writing has been put on the back burner. But I do miss it. It was always an outlet for me gather and sort my thoughts.

So, let this be a new chapter in my life. A chapter that is actually documented.

I'll begin with what happened last night. I'm still on a creative high from the night. I've sort of started a little band with some co-workers and I'm really excited about it. We had our first rehearsal last night and I'm amazed at how well it went. I work with plenty of talented and creative people, but our little group seemed exceptional last night. So, if any of you are reading this...thank you, thank you, thank you. I had an absolute blast and I can hardly wait to get together again. I haven't performed for so long and I know it's what's been missing in my life lately. I have everything else I need with my beautiful family, but I'll always have the performing gene and I'm never complete without being able to share what's inside me. In fact, it's consuming my thoughts. All I think about is singing, dancing and acting. And I can't deny this overwhelming urge to take up piano again. I was really pretty good at one time and I know it wouldn't take me long to get it all back. So now the goal is to try and get my piano from SLC to PHX. I needed it months ago and it's just sitting there in Salt Lake waiting for me. If only it could grow legs and run down here to meet me. What a happy little reunion we would have.

Brody.

How do I even begin with that little man (which is exactly what he is...a little man). He's not even close to a baby anymore. He's running and dancing and talking and climbing like a madman. Brody, my sweet boy. He needed his mama so badly today it ripped my heart out to leave him to come to work. I said goodbye and he was absolutely devastated, tears streaming down his little cheeks, his arms reaching up to me, "MA MA MA MA". I leaned over to give him a little kiss and he grabbed my neck so tightly I struggled to peel his little arms off.

It tears me to pieces knowing how many little moments I'm missing and how quickly this time will pass.

I vow to do better with everything...being a mother, being a wife, singing, writing, never giving up. I'm done with just getting through each day.