Dismal

Current mood: morose
I've been in a very dreary mood the last couple of days. I can't seem to pinpoint the exact cause of my bleak outlook, but it may stem from the intense fog that has plauged the Salt Lake valley the last few days. Everything is grey and dull. I can't see the mountains or more than 50 feet ahead of me for that matter. I'm unmotivated to show any kind of emotion. I feel a bit like I'm a French beatnik observing everyone with disdain. They ask me if I want to go anywhere or do anything and I just look away and say, "but why...I'm le tired...go away" It's a funk. So, I'm listening to funk, Deodato to be exact-something my brother had, in hopes of moving me out of my funk. Actually, what I really might need is some hardcore inner male rage music. That may do the trick. I think I'm sick of people today. I hate holiday shoppers. I need a magic wand, a magic "to Hell with you" wand. Then anyone who pisses me off I can just point my wand, say to Hell with you and POOF! Gone. I love it. It's a good thing I don't have telekinetic powers. BREATHE ROCHELLE...IN...AND OUT...IN WITH THE GOOD...OUT WITH THE BAD...IN...OUT... Okay, a little better. I just wish I could figure people out. Everyone is so hidden. Why do we hide. Why are we so afraid to be honest with others and with ourselves. I'm le tired. Off to not sleep because my brain won't let me. Tomorrow will be a better day.