I think the heat here is boiling my brain cells. I have no inspiration or ability to sit down and actually put my thoughts into words. So many strange things are happening right now as well. I feel like we were all warped into an alternate universe. If things were going well for people they suddenly have turned terribly wrong and vice versa.
Despite the heat I trudged around Manhattan today and did a little shopping. I tried on a bunch of fancy cocktail dresses I would never wear or buy for that matter. To be honest I have no idea why I was doing it. I guess I just like to put on a pretty dress and then I feel pretty too, even if it is for only a few moments. I may go back and get one of them. It was several shades of blue and green, very flowy and beaded on the bodice. I can't stop thinking about it. I'll find a place to wear it.
Changes...let's talk about that. Tyler has an opportunity to advance his career and make some contacts in MLB. He'll be living in Arizona for almost a couple months starting in October scoring some games live. It's very exciting for him and he's thrilled to be out of NYC. Unfortunately for me, I'll be alone during that time. I guess I'm just getting a taste of what it was like for him. I left him for seven months while I was on tour.
If things go well for Ty in Phoenix who knows what will happen. We may be moving. That actually wouldn't be so bad. Although I love NY and I really want to keep trying for a show, I know I'd be happy in Arizona. It's close to my family and Ty's family (they have a house there) and it's near the West coast...the best coast. I'll still be able to do regional theatre and record. Either of which will fulfill the need and desire to perform. I eventually would love to teach and maybe start my own theatre school/company.
I've been evaluating my work situation. I'm not too sure about working for Hard Rock anymore. The cafe moved to Times Square and it's beautiful and new and still has a ton of problems. Only now, they're on a much bigger scale. Plus the hours are kind of a drag. I do love my new little cocktail waitress uniform, but that doesn't really make up for the fact that there is no place for me to change into it at work. There aren't enough lockers either. They put the few lockers they do have in a shared hallway in the basement with several other businesses. It's a public area and the first day when I arrived there was a drunk guy passes out lying next to the lockers. That's really safe. When I brought it up during one of our shift meetings, the managers said to come already dressed. Even more dangerous. Going to work in my little uniform and walking to the subway in the middle of the night just flashes neon lights that say RAPE ME, KILL ME and STEAL ALL MY MONEY because I'm a waitress at the HRC and I carry large amounts of cash. I'm just livid about the situation and the nonchalant attitude the managers have about our welfare and safety.
I'm done.
I'm ready for the next phase of my life.
For all my friends that are going through hard times, please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers always and if there is anything I can do please let me know. I love you all.
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